I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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