I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
