This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
