he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
