dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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