Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
false alarm, still single
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