I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
