We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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