Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
