Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
