I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
