Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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