why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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