the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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