ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can I color on your dick again?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
