im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I CAN MOONWALK!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
