going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
