somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Drake has all the answers
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
