Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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