So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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