Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
