I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
