He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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