He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
