just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
