At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
