I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
