Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
