I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
