I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
