Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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