Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
