he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
