dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
