i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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