I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
