my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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