I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
