the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
