Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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