...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
