Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
