he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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