Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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