New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
