the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
