puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
