You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
