I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
