I want to stick my p in your. b.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
