didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
