Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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