i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
