My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
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