Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
